Goddamn it.

I’m feeling pretty sorry for myself right now. It has a little to do with the fact that the bachelor’s life I have fallen into is unlikely to lift anytime soon. Seems I have rotten luck, as in every other respect I have more than a little going for me. If I may be so snotty. I’m a good-looking guy, after all. George W. Bush once said of me, or possibly of his nephew George P. Bush, “He’s a handsome dude, ain’t he?”

Let me tell you, my friend: they all have boyfriends. All of them. Perhaps not the ones with husbands. But the rest of them have boyfriends. If you are a girl, and you do not have a boyfriend at the moment, you are sure to have already had one for three months by the time I talk to you. Even if I talk to you next week. This law defies time in a way scientists cannot – and have no desire to – understand.

I’ve taken to watching reruns of the show “Unhappily Ever After”. It’s a weird show. It’s like “Married With Children” meets “It’s Garry Shandling’s Show” meets reefer. Lots of painfully unfunny writing and acting, but it’s just quirky enough to sustain my interest. I am honestly not considering Nikki Cox’s cleavage in my evaluation of the show. That’s but an added treat. Plus, Reese from “Malcolm in the Middle” is in it as a little kid, if you’re into that sort of thing. I’m pretty sure I also saw Jackie from “That 70’s Show” in one episode, looking ridiculously young. You see? It’s a veritable cavalcade for future stars of the Fox network! Why, maybe Kelso or one of the Masterson brothers will turn up in tomorrow’s episode!

Just one more day of work before my vacation… must muddle through…

Didn’t I say I wasn’t going to make this into a diary?

The only rule is that there are no rules except for this one.