A few days ago I got the following message from my parents:

Hi
How’s it going? If you could, send a christmas list to us. We
ain’t doing much around here.
Bye

Love,
MOM & DAD

A list, a list, a list… what would I put on a list? CDs? DVDs? Video games? Books? Clothing? Small home appliances? Gadgets and gizmos? Wall decorations? Gift certificates? A new car? A new brain for my cat? A girlfriend? A new set of friends? Several 24-packs of Minute Maid Orange soda?

The two things in life that I currently need the most are a shave and a haircut. Two bits aside, these are things I can only acquire for myself.

I have a headache. Enough of this.