At this writing, my minivan is parked in a tow zone. Every legal spot in the city of Chicago is occupied. Two cars are parked behind mine, further into said tow zone. I figure that a tow truck will have to get those out of the way before they can get to mine, and that will buy me a little bit of time. I realize that by asserting this I am really, really asking to be towed. We shall see, time will tell and all that.

I’ve been scoping out the hip teenage homepages that are popular and also the rage. There are lots of gloomy kids out there. Buck up, Wendy Website – at least you’ve got a budding career in design going for you, even if you can’t resist accentuating your links .:like this:. and typing in all lowercase all the time. I understand that high school is the worst time in your life, but you must pace yourself in your misery – college will also be the worst time in your life, and most of adulthood, probably. Being in your teens is an unusual time – you are old enough to feel that your emotions are important, but not old enough to realize that there are things more important than your emotions. Or your emoticons, for that matter. My advice for dealing with high school depression is as follows: 1) Talk to a counselor. 2) See a doctor. Medicate if necessary. There is nothing wrong with medicating if you need it. 3) Mutter “fuck” under your breath several hundred times a day, even when you are alone and have absolutely no reason to mutter. 4) Make friends with a dog or cat. 5) Ten years from now, reflect on how you were so very depressed over things that mean shit to you now.

Perhaps someday I’ll compile a list of my favorite depressed-teen homepages. Or would that be exploitative?