10 | December | 2000 | The Lucubus

I suffered from several minor delusions today. Among them:

That it was November.
That I had not worn the same pair of socks yesterday.
That my shoes were dry when I walked across the hardwood floor of my trendy, upscale apartment.
That my apartment was of the trendy and upscale variety.
That my middle name was Randolph.
That peanut butter cookies are an acceptable substitute for any of the three major daily meals.
That my kitty was not the cutest thing in the universe.
That in England, they call football “soccer”.
That my beard makes me look somewhat suave.
That the musical is making a comeback.
That today is Sunday.
That I was right when I realized it was not Sunday.
That dragging my digital camera around everywhere makes me into some sort of photojournalist.
That if I bought the “Ab Roller” I would actually use it and see results.
That the numbers 359 and 953 are interchangeable.
That if I walked around Water Tower Place for an hour or two, I would not only be infused with the Christmas spirit and love my fellow man, but also get all my shopping done.
That I could get by on charm alone.

The Lucubus