I am so drunk that when I stand up I feel like I’m going to fall off.
Daily Hey Magic Number: Zero. I am going to go drink some more now.
Monthly Archives: December 2002
Last minute post #2
How drunk am I?
Daily Hey Magic Number: 1
Last minute post #1
I am drunk.
Daily Hey Magic Number: 2
Street fairs
foldingsuplex: bob and i went to midsommarfest today. it was gay.
lucahack: was it gay?
foldingsuplex: it was f’n GAY
lucahack: I thought it was supposed to be scandinavian
foldingsuplex: yeah, i thought so too. but it turned out to be mostly gay dudes with their shirts off.
lucahack: I guess it turned out to be scandiGAYvian
Daily Hey Magic Number: 3
Hot or not?
hmssucktoad: Hey Lucas. Am I hot or not?
hmssucktoad: http://www.hotornot.com/bob/
lucahack: I gave you an 8
hmssucktoad: WHAT?!?!
hmssucktoad: Ok whatever dood. There is no accounting for taste.
lucahack: 8 is good, isn’t it?
hmssucktoad: Yeah but it is not a 10.
hmssucktoad: I would give YOU a 10.
Daily Hey Magic Number: 4
Sugar shock
lucahack: I am jumping out of my skin over here
IIIobservedIII: you need to think some happy thoughts dude
lucahack: . o O ( boobies )
IIIobservedIII: heeh – that looks nothing like boobies
lucahack: that’s “boobies” in a thought cloud
IIIobservedIII: OOOOOOOOOOooo
IIIobservedIII: hahah
IIIobservedIII: that’s funny
lucahack: I need to stop eating candy
Daily Hey Magic Number: 5
Music is inside us
foldingsuplex: i am thinking of investing in a usb-midi keyboard
lucahack: thinking of making the music?
lucahack: you got the music in you?
foldingsuplex: we shall see
foldingsuplex: i am thinking of making the noises
lucahack: I just made a noise right now if you get my drift
foldingsuplex: quality
Daily Hey Magic Number: 6
Chauvinism
lucahack: the ending of Thelma & Louise makes no sense to me
lucahack: why wouldn’t they want to go to prison, where they could have all the lesbian sex they obviously want?
hmssucktoad: hmmm.
hmssucktoad: male chauvinist prison guards?
lucahack: there are female prison guards
hmssucktoad: right but the very chauvinist male guards would ruin all the fun…?
hmssucktoad: Isn’t Harvey Keitel around? I’d drive off a cliff.
lucahack: but Harvey Keitel is so non-threatening in this movie
hmssucktoad: Are you kidding? Every scene you just sit there, waiting for him to whip out his (contractual) penis.
lucahack: he’s just a teddy bear
lucahack: with a penis
Daily Hey Magic Number: 7
Addiction
StoneCo1dCrazy: But I need nicotine!
lucahack: patches, baby
StoneCo1dCrazy: no, smokes!
lucahack: nicotine suppositories!
StoneCo1dCrazy: EEWWW!
lucahack: that would make it easy to quit
lucahack: or hard to quit
lucahack: depending on whether you like things up your ass
StoneCo1dCrazy: heh
Daily Hey Magic Number: 8
Special super sparkly
lucahack: not just choir. SHOWchoir.
IIIobservedIII: what is that, like, special super choir?
lucahack: it’s a choir that wears sparkly outfits and dances
IIIobservedIII: OOOOOOOOh
IIIobservedIII: hehehe 
IIIobservedIII: did you get to keep any of the sparkly outfits?
lucahack: we had to buy them
lucahack: so yes
IIIobservedIII: ooooh!!
IIIobservedIII: that’s awesome
IIIobservedIII: so, like, do you have a sparkly top hat?
lucahack: no top hats
IIIobservedIII: (sound of my heart breaking)
Daily Hey Magic Number: 9
The foe spiral
Samorama76: you need a life
lucahack: life is my enemy
lucahack: death is my buddy
lucahack: ah, sweet release
lucahack: I’m joking now, but I’ll step out of the building and get hit by a bus
lucahack: which will make it all doubly tragic
lucahack: fucking buses
lucahack: fucking Buseys
lucahack: fucking Shasta McNasty
Samorama76: well, that sucks!
Daily Hey Magic Number: 10
The subtlest art
lucahack: you’re certainly up late for someone I’ve never met
(Kelly): not really, it’s saturday night
lucahack: I know… I thought it would be a funny opening line
(Kelly): oh, sorry
Daily Hey Magic Number: 11
Good heavens
It’s New Year’s Eve. It’s the LAST DAY!
Daily Hey Magic Number: 12
Quick beverage reviews: taste the rainbow
GUEST HEY by LUCIUS AMBERBOCK
Pepsi Blue
If I could use one word to describe this product, it would be ‘blech’. Tastes like carbonated cough medicine. I’ve had store-brand berry colas with more zest and zeal. Why Pepsi would put its name on a product without the slightest hint of any Pepsi connection is beyond me.
Dr. Pepper Red Fusion
It’s like drinking Dr. Pepper without the Dr. Pepper flavor. Tastes neither terrific nor awful… it’s just sort of there, existing. Like eating a plain cookie without any chocolate chips or oatmeal and raisins.
SoBe Mr. Green
What differentiates this product from Pepsi Blue and Dr. Pepper Red Fusion is that it is, in fact, colored green. Before taking a swig, I was expecting to be overcome with the sensation of ginseng or ginger or ginkoa or some strange Far Eastern mystical additive. Instead, it tasted like a less-sweet Pepsi. I was fine with it; then again, I did have it after downing a few unrelated margaritas earlier.
Mountain Dew Code Red
Smoother and easier on the stomach than Mountain Dew (original). As did most college students who attended a university where the president was also on the PepsiCo board of directors, I depended on Mountain Dew to keep me awake during finals week — and hopefully during the tests, as well. However, in my case, I overdid my portion of the consumption throughout the years, and I am now more or less immune to the caffeine power Mr. Dew has to offer. And since the caffeine no longer has any effect, I have no reason to drink it anymore, since the citrus-y taste is too tart for me. But with the introduction of some kind of cherry flavor in Code Red, the new hybrid product does have more of a sweet taste to it. And best of all: it turns your tongue bright red.
All in all, it’s best not to make a habit out of consuming multi-colored soft drinks. I won’t even bring up the effects it might have on the urinary system.
Daily Hey Magic Number: 13
Graphic design
lucahack: I had a dream once where a professor chastised me in front of the class for swearing during a group discussion
lucahack: a professor who in actuality swore in class regularly
lucahack: so in effect I was making myself feel guilty about his language
A Creamsicle: it’s the puritan in you
lucahack: “got any puritan in you? want some?”
lucahack: hmm… that line doesn’t work
A Creamsicle: only at a very intellectually ironic level
lucahack: “got any music in you? want some?” works better
lucahack: it should be on a concert poster
lucahack: although it is relatively innocuous
A Creamsicle: depends on the graphic
lucahack: a penis-shaped microphone
A Creamsicle: it would be even better on the radio
lucahack: an acoustic guitar with a vagina in the center
Daily Hey Magic Number: 31