This message is for Jesus Christ. Well, not just for Jesus but for the whole Trinity – the Father, the Son, and the Friendly Ghost.

Today, I looked at a website which brought into focus the ridiculous things humankind attempts to do in your service. That website is “The Truth for Youth”. As I read these Jack Chick-like comics designed by probably perfectly nice people to help influence teenagers to adopt “Christian values”, I experienced many feelings. Anger, astonishment, bemusement, intense burning dislike. Because I was having such strong negative feelings about a work which purported to espouse the philosophy for the best way to live one’s life, I paused to consider the possibility that I would be going to go straight to hell, or at the very least be Left Behind?. Then I asked myself, “Self? W.W.J.D.?”

Well, you sure wouldn’t put a shiny plastic fish on the back of your car, that’s for damn sure. Or would you? Well, to each his own. But you have inspired me to notice that these prescriptive Christian brainwashing materials rely far too heavily on the Bible as evidence. They seem to forget that the Bible was written by humans. And while the text may have been divinely inspired, humans are imperfect beings. Even though you have only walked as man just the once – as far as I can tell from what is in the public record – certainly you must know what I am talking about. Humans have biases, almost always, whether they know it or not. This is true for the scriveners and for the translators and everyone else around and between. If your words are in there, we cannot say for certain what they are, where they are, or if they are in the proper context. And yet, these recruitment packages place no thought at all to the matter that their version of the Bible may have been tampered with at some point in the past, which strikes me as naive, or, more insidiously, willfully manipulative. And “manipulative” is the perfect word for these cornball religious tracts. I truly fear for tomorrow if our children grow up reading this trash. (There, now I sound like one of them!)

Thanks for your time. Ten-four, good buddy!