Textification masturbation

Remember the days of Trash-80s, Apple ][s, and the piracy of BBS? Neither do I, but I just found out it’s not to late to start reliving them anyway, and learning a little about American History in the process.

I always wanted to step into the shoes of a teenage computer nerd with a modem circa 1983 (the life that could have been, if only my parents had had sex sooner) — spreading trite German-sounding humor to the world; painstakingly drawing naked ladies with nothing but the 128 basic ASCII characters as my palette; beating that damn Rom Raider to the punch on publishing the walkthrough for the new Adventure! game. Thanks to a little article in Salon, now I know how and where I can step back in time:

textfiles.com

(Note: experiencing this site to the fullest will require a radical reduction in your expecations of web-based visual stimulation.)

Being a Lego bastard WORKS

I read a comic book called TRANSMETROPOLITAN. It is written by Warren Ellis and illustrated by Darick Robertson and Rodney Ramos, and it is published by the Vertigo imprint of DC Comics. TRANSMETROPOLITAN is about the crusade of journalist Spider Jerusalem to find out about and expose the horrible things that the President (whom he nicknames “The Smiler”) has done while in office and while trying to get there. To celebrate this fine comic book’s final year of publication (it is now within ten issues of the story’s end) I have made Lego figures of my favorite characters.

Spider is aided by his “filthy assistants”, Channon and Yelena, who help him gather evidence and protect him when they are not trying to kill him. Spider’s offensive weapon of choice is the bowel disruptor.

Here, Spider gleefully blasts President Gary Callahan (AKA The Smiler) with the bowel disruptor. That can’t be pleasant!

The Harry Potter Lego figure was hanging around, and so Channon and Yelena are showing him how they use broomsticks.

Spider blasts Harry’s enemy Draco Malfoy with the bowel disruptor, because the little bastard’s been asking for it for four whole books now.

Tee hee!