Am I offensive? Are you offended? Should I tone it down? Should I consider middle America? Should I take this out of the family hour?
Are you not offended enough? Should I make ugly assertions? Shall I express indefensible political views? Perhaps I should engage in derogatory commentary regarding categorizations of some kind?
Do my tits look okay?
Daily Hey Magic Number: 60
Incest wasn’t best.
Put my sister to the test.
By and large, was not impressed.
Daily Hey Magic Number: 61
You’re disenchanted with your panties
Fanning blandly in your shanty
Drinking empty cans of bottled beer
And wearing but a black brassiere
Your husband wants to go out, can he
Dirty shirts make him look manly
Half an hour goes by and then
You urge him to stay in again
He gets so fed up with your ranting
Yells, but then ends up recanting
Backing from his failed chance, he
Knows who doesn’t wear the panties…
Daily Hey Magic Number: 62
These foolish things remind me of you.
Daily Hey Magic Number: 63
I have renamed my cat “Similarly Mixed Success”. As that does not fit on the tags that you can buy with the tokens over at the pet smart, I have shortened the name to “Simixuc”, which is, coincidentally, the name of an Aztec god. Really. I swear. I might be wrong, but I sure ain’t lying.
Daily Hey Magic Number: 64
I have renamed my cat “Jellica”. He appears to be responding to it by tearing large chunks of carpet up off the floor. I had renamed him previously (to “Recruit Yaney” during a brief fixation with the FOX television series BOOT CAMP) to similarly mixed success.
Daily Hey Magic Number: 65
A Google search for “Jellica” does seem to indicate that it is an actual name. It appears to be popular in eastern Europe and among cats.
The Lucubus regrets the error.
Daily Hey Magic Number: 66
I just received in my email an advertisement for a porno site, from someone purportedly named Jellica.
Jellica? Really? Come on.
Daily Hey Magic Number: 67
Sorry to crimp your style.
Sorry to put a snitch in your side.
Sorry to put a throne in your paw.
Daily Hey Magic Number: 68
Foot traffic, October 2002
Daily Hey Magic Number: 69
A little pricey, November 2002
Daily Hey Magic Number: 70
Scenery, October 2002
Daily Hey Magic Number: 71
Sittin’, October 2002
Daily Hey Magic Number: 72
Jenny and the camera, November 2002
Daily Hey Magic Number: 73
Sinister coffee kid, November 2002
Daily Hey Magic Number: 74