Beware the ides of March!

Holy shit! It’s the ides of March! I wasn’t paying attention! Suddenly, it’s the ides of March! What the hell am I going to do now?

I’ve got to go to the grocery store, get some canned goods! I’ve got to go to the hardware store and buy some crossbow bolts! And a crossbow! Fuck fuck fuck! I need to withdraw all my money from my bank account and bury it in a metal box in the backyard! Shit! I don’t have a metal box OR a backyard!

It’s too late anyway. I can’t go out now! The roads are clogged with traffic! And through my window I can hear the blood-curdled screams of a thousand people! I should not have waited so long! It’s too late now… it’s over… it’s over…

Damn you, ides of March!