Drugs to which I am addicted

Caffeine
Nicotine
Alcohol
Smack
Blow
Crack
Roofies
Ecstasy
Sharpies
Tylenol
Phenobarbitol
Iocaine powder
Ludes
KT-28s
Turrets
Muggles
Goofballs
Mucilage
Finger puppets
Speed
Ecstamasy
Sweet ‘N’ Low
Nancy gas
Iron filings
Sex packets
Mothballs
Hell biscuits
Flipper babies
Honey mustard
Crushed egg cartons
Silica gel
Immodium AD
Duck saliva
Applesauce caplets
Ecstamasextamasy
Lost buttons
Freezer scrapings
Cough syrup
Uppers
Downers
Nightgowners
Red devils
Yellow jackets
Blue heavens
Black rogues
Scarlet pimples
Ketamine
Keratin
Albuterin
Prime-number-shitting bears
Viagra
Trazodone
Marzapan
Shirley Temples
Target shoppers
Elevator operators
Nasty waxies
Chocolate pennies
Composite gray t-shirt fabric doobies
Candied buckshot
Prairie oysters
Tic tacs dipped in latex paint
Shrooms
Stools
Molds
Acid
Angel dust
Unleaded plus
Episode recaplets
Aluminum beans
Barburritos
Naked Susans
Jellied glass
Crystal meth
TLC
Shoe polish
Klugman Qs
Bling
Tooth powder
Legos
Cheese grannies
Animal planets
Rabies shots
Heparin
Butter buds
Soap shavings
Glandbangers
Chicken feet
Klondike fives
Taffeta gas
Parsely
Sage
Rosemary
Thyme
Junk
Garbage
Feces
Rose petals

Drugs to which I am not addicted

Marijuana

Conclusion

God bless you, Nancy Reagan!