English class journal entry from 29 October 1991:

I think my brain is leaking. I’m not sure, that fluid on my pillow could have been drool, but I kind of feel like my brain is starting to dry up. When I shake my head, I don’t hear any swishing around anymore. So this is where all of that stuff in my throat came from. I keep picturing the hamwater at the bottom of a Lunchables tray floating around in my skull, coming out of my brain. I think the nervous system is directly related to gastric problems. I think the schools should offer naptime as a semester course. I think we shouldn’t be pressured into learning things that we don’t need to know. I was already pushed over the edge; I just landed on a flagpole.

Daily Hey Magic Number: 12