It appears that I may have had too much of the bourbon whiskey.
Little chunks
Excuse #11
I spent tonight watching Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. My review: Hooray for fun!
Excuse #10
I had intended to write an essay on reactions to the Middle East conflict vis-à-vis the divisive American political system, but I realized that I had no time tonight to do proper research to avoid turning it into the same type of knee-jerk partisan reactionism that I was going to complain about.
Excuse #9
Terrorists are plotting to assassinate a presidential candidate; my wife and daughter have been targeted; and people I work with may be involved in both. I’m federal agent Jack Bauer, and today is the longest day of my life.
Excuse #8
I was listening to “Cannonball” by the Breeders, and I accidentally smashed everything in the apartment with my frenetic dancing.
Ma’s day
Happy Mothers’ Day, Ma! I thought I would embarrass you by publishing this really cool photo taken of (from left to right) you and Aunt Hedy back in the 1950s when y’all were just skinny kids! Before you get upset, let me ask you: I don’t have a funny old picture of Pa to put up on Fathers’ Day. Can you send me that one of him sitting on the toilet with lipstick all over his face? (His teenage years must have taken their toll!)
Excuse #7
I was too busy talking to my mom on the phone, on account of it being Mothers’ Day and all.
Excuse #6
There’s a Kelly Preston movie marathon on the superstation tonight. (Bizarrely, there is an overlap there with the C. Thomas Howell movie marathon, in the form of the 1985 film Secret Admirer. All it would take is a Lori Loughlin movie marathon, and the Secret Admirer trifecta would be complete.)
Excuse #5
There’s a C. Thomas Howell movie marathon on the superstation tonight.
Excuse #4
I’ve been putting together an exploratory committee to investigate a possible presidential candidacy on my part.
Excuse #3
The liberal amounts of eye lubricant I applied have rendered me unable to see the keyboard.
Excuse #2
The cat bit my typing finger.
Excuse #1
I am so very tired.