GUEST HEY by LUCIUS AMBERBOCK

Pepsi Blue
If I could use one word to describe this product, it would be ‘blech’. Tastes like carbonated cough medicine. I’ve had store-brand berry colas with more zest and zeal. Why Pepsi would put its name on a product without the slightest hint of any Pepsi connection is beyond me.

Dr. Pepper Red Fusion
It’s like drinking Dr. Pepper without the Dr. Pepper flavor. Tastes neither terrific nor awful… it’s just sort of there, existing. Like eating a plain cookie without any chocolate chips or oatmeal and raisins.

SoBe Mr. Green
What differentiates this product from Pepsi Blue and Dr. Pepper Red Fusion is that it is, in fact, colored green. Before taking a swig, I was expecting to be overcome with the sensation of ginseng or ginger or ginkoa or some strange Far Eastern mystical additive. Instead, it tasted like a less-sweet Pepsi. I was fine with it; then again, I did have it after downing a few unrelated margaritas earlier.

Mountain Dew Code Red
Smoother and easier on the stomach than Mountain Dew (original). As did most college students who attended a university where the president was also on the PepsiCo board of directors, I depended on Mountain Dew to keep me awake during finals week — and hopefully during the tests, as well. However, in my case, I overdid my portion of the consumption throughout the years, and I am now more or less immune to the caffeine power Mr. Dew has to offer. And since the caffeine no longer has any effect, I have no reason to drink it anymore, since the citrus-y taste is too tart for me. But with the introduction of some kind of cherry flavor in Code Red, the new hybrid product does have more of a sweet taste to it. And best of all: it turns your tongue bright red.

All in all, it’s best not to make a habit out of consuming multi-colored soft drinks. I won’t even bring up the effects it might have on the urinary system.

Daily Hey Magic Number: 13