If the President can do it, so can I!
Category Archives: Metariffic
To drop shadow or not to drop shadow
Hi. I’ve been working on a site redesign, and right now I’m really still playing with ideas. But I think I may have come up with a basic letterhead. The question is, should I use drop shadows, or should I let the colors remain flat? I’ll let the images speak for themselves…
With drop shadows:
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Without:
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One
On the train today, a fiftyish gentleman dressed in striped shorts and a loose fitting tanktop entered my car. The tanktop was loose enough that it was all bunched up in front, leaving one of his nipples exposed. He was not a chubby man, but he was just flabby enough to give his breast a feminine appearance. He sat there, oblivious of his dangling man-boob. He got off at the very next station, approximately five blocks north of the station at which he entered. As he stepped off the train I noticed he was wearing sandals and red socks.
Two
Last night I watched the movie “Hardcore” on a cable channel. “Hardcore” is the story of a man’s quest to find his daughter, who has disappeared into the seedy SoCal world of strip clubs and porno movies. I watched it with some nostalgia, because, if my memory is accurate, “Hardcore” was the first nudity-laden movie I ever saw. Of course, back then (maybe seventh grade?), I could only barely understand the plot, and most of the innuendo went over my head. Last night I noticed that sure, there was lots of nudity, but none of it was glamorous. It was all very seedy and stark and absolutely unerotic – no doubt the filmmaker’s attempts to recreate faithfully that world. But my memories of it as tittilating erotica were undercut even more by the now-noticed presence of three established actors: George C. Scott, in the starring role as the man looking for his daughter; Dick Sargent; and Peter Boyle. PETER FUCKING BOYLE is tied to my first taboo-movie-watching experience. It’s no wonder I’m sort of screwed up. Thank god I saw “Hardbodies” not too long after, or else I’d be scarred for life.
Three
Some of you may have noticed that the posts here, while occurring with greater frequency than in the past, have gone slightly downhill in quality. This is because the *quality* posts will continue to appear at a normal rate, and everything else is just filler so that I can justify referring to this as a daily weblog. So this is filler. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And for some reason I just typed all those out instead of just cutting and pasting them.
Outta site
The more astute amongst you may have observed that I have trimmed some of the fat off the Lucubus. First on the chopping block was ShanDo! – An Avantgarde New Media Art Piece Disguised as a Shannen Doherty Fan Site. I had grown quite tired of various international personalities e-mailing me and asking me to send nude photos of myself, presumably although not necessarily under the impression that I was Shannen herself. Also holding my interest no longer are e-mail messages from assorted Charmed fans both foreign and domestic, who do not seem to get the joke that I neither love Shannen nor hate her, but am entirely indifferent, and thus are inclined to call me a dickhead or a retard or possibly a retarded dickhead. Don’t get me wrong, I love being insulted, but I’d rather the insult be well-informed, you know? Anyway, the page is still up in its original location, but I’ve removed all the links to it. It will ultimately be available for viewing in a site archive I’m building, although that probably won’t stop it from going into the search engines, dammit. At any rate, all messages sent to [address deleted] or [address deleted] will, from here on in, go straight to the trash.
Also removed from mass linkage is the homepage of The Complacents The Real Life Band. The Complacents The Real Life Band have not played a show for about two years now. The most recent news update congratulates Jeremy on his marriage, and he’s not even the most recent Complacent The Real Life Band Member to get married. That would be Mike. (Congratulations, Mike! Even though it happened six months ago and I’ve congratulated you in person since!) So, out-of-date combined with probably-defunct results in internet litter, and thus shall be swept into the rubbish bin of the not-linked-from-the-main-page site archives. Taking its place in the link is the homepage of The Complacents The Fictional Cartoon And/Or Radio Show Band, or complacents.com for short, which has a halfway decent prayer of being updated in the next few years.
The final, most minor deletion was that of the “Something Else” section, ironically named as “Nothing Else At All” was ever put there. At various times I thought I could make it a photo gallery of my toenail clippings, or of my customized Lego action figures, or possibly instructions on how to perform a nosefart. But “Something Else” fell by the wayside, and few will mourn the passing of the Most Pointless Single HTML Document On The Internet. Or at least in my zip code.
Anyway, the end result is a smooth, efficient site. And also I have tweak the bottom menu frame so it looks right again.
The Lucubus. Bringing you webby fun and internet good times since, oh, 1996 or so.
At this moment, this page looks great in Internet Explorer. It looks lousy in Netscape. Bear with me while I work this out.
Edit: Well, this page looks okay in Netscape 6. So, download that, ya piker. Also, Happy Valentine’s Day. Or some such shit.
While I was driving home tonight, I wrote three columns in my head. That was stupid. What a waste of time! My head does not have an internet connection. Those are a few years off, anyway. So anyway, parked car, patch of ice, yadda yadda yadda, three columns on the pavement. Hmm.
I did my laundry and took out the trash today. For me, this is newsworthy. I am somewhat slovenly. Not that it’s any of your business. Have you ever noticed that if you put your laundry in the trash, it becomes trash, but if you put your trash in the laundry, it does not become laundry?
Valuable life lessons, here at the Lucubus.
I updated the “Bitch” section of my Shannen Doherty pseudo-fan site. It will probably be the last update. I do not care one whit about Shannen Doherty – no offense if you’re reading, darling – any more than I do any celebrity on whom I formerly had a crush due to her strong resemblance to an ex-girlfriend and/or tendency to be naked. I want to ditch the page. I want to erase it. I want to eliminate it. It is a thorn in my side, a black mark on an otherwise sparkling career, and it really turns the chicks away in droves. It gets my site hits, I suppose, but do I really want hits from various Europeans too strung out on legalized marijuana and federal health coverage to notice that Shannen Doherty (hi, sweetheart) is not affiliated with the site? I don’t think so. Unless I can wring some money out of them.
I just noticed that this page looks seriously screwy in Netscape. Oh, curse those savants at Microsoft! Must they get everything right?
Hello, children.
Daddy has been very bad. He was caught in the middle of a bad act and the good people came and took him away for awhile. He came back and was better, but still bad, so the good people came and took him away again. They still have him. I don’t know where he is. In any event, thanks to the fine folks over there at Blogger.com, I can just plug in exactly the interface that I was trying for months to come up with. You see, it already existed. It has long been my policy not to bother writing code myself when such code already exists, but I did not know of the existence of this Blogger service, and so I wasted hours trying to come up with a sophisticated series of macros to make updating the Daily Hey easy and fun instead of excruciatingly painful and mind-numbingly dull. Better yet, I’ll be able to update it when I’m, like, bored at work or something. Not that I don’t have enough to do at work, if you are my supervisor who is reading this!
I shall post again in a few minutes, to test the capabilities of this system to support an image – not just any image, but my ugly mug. Stay tuned! (Stay tuned I say, knowing that the number of hits between now and then will be exactly and possibly less than zero.)