Hello, my darlings. I have not written in a few days. I would like to say that the reason I have been away for such a long time is that I have been hard at work on my novel. You remember, the one that I’m writing for NaNoWriMo? Unfortunately, my bastard schedule continues to consume much of my time, and I am now hovering at about twenty thousand words, or about forty percent completion. It’s going to be pretty entertaining to see how screwed up I’m going to be by the end of the month, as I am already unravelling at the seams. Why, right now I have a painful ingrown hair on my inner thigh, and I just used a scissor to open up a liquidy blister on my right heel. My apartment is an absolute sty and I have no interest in reversing its deterioration. I continue to lose larger and larger amounts of hair every time I shower. My poor neglected cat has been biting me at least twice as often as usual.

And that’s a whole paragraph I could have devoted towards the novel. I hope you’re happy.