So it looks like our long national nightmare is only half over. I’m not sure what to do about that. I briefly considered the possibility that I could try the whole Republican thing out for a while; since it’s so popular, there must be something to recommend it. I could go for a smaller government and some deregulated industries. Why not? I was always planning to be a millionaire anyway. Why shouldn’t I ride this Republican thing out?

It falls apart, though, because I am not nearly sickened enough at the thought of gay sex. Why, I’m hardly sickened at all. Just barely enough to keep me straight. Homosexuality is nature’s way of making population growth more incremental than exponential, and gay people should be welcomed into mainstream society with open arms. And/or flies. If you’re into that.

So now what? What happens for the next four years? Probably a continuation of the slow but steady transformation of the once-great American Republic into a passive-aggressive (but more aggressive than passive) global bully.

It’s probably true that, had John Kerry won the election, he wouldn’t have been able to accomplish much, what with Republicans controlling both Houses and the Supreme Court. He would have presided over more Iraq quagmire, impotent to extract our soldiers from the region. He may well have gone down in history as one of America’s most mediocre presidents.

But, you know, even so. Look what we’ve got now.