All posts by Lucas

Geekzapoppin

To those of you not in the “know”, this past weekend I was at the Wizard World 2001 comic book convention, here in Chicago. I spent ridiculous amounts of money and met Kimmi (see preceding article), and also:

afterwards she stabbed me and he went 'thwip'
Elektra: Assassin and Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man were on hand to demonstrate the perils of wearing spandex too frequently. Oh, the rashes!

this one goes out to all tha sexy lay-days in tha hizouse
James Marsters, aka “Spike” from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, appeared briefly on the convention floor, rapped freestyle for a few minutes, and turned to mist.

intergalactic planetary planetary intergalactic
Optimus Prime asked to bum a cigarette off me. I didn’t have any. I asked him to transform, but he wouldn’t. Asshole.

When it rains, it pours

I feel like I’ve been scooped. On Monday, Salon.com ran an article about the “camgirl” phenomenon. In a nutshell, the trend is young girls – aged, say, 15 to 21 – setting up websites that have a daily blog, not unlike my own, and a webcam image that is updated a few times a day. Many of these girls also link to Amazon wishlists, and generous lonely old perverts purchase items for them, which get shipped anonymously. The article makes a few good points, but it is largely one-sided with the “Who’s Exploiting Whom?” angle. I think there’s a lot more to this than exploitation. More in both the positive and negative senses. And the article sensationalizes that these girls “show skin” – some do, but as a generalization it is wrong. (One of the girls profiled, Katneko, had other issues with the article… read them at her site.) So anyway, this article is run, and now they’re talking about it on MSNBC, and these girls are getting booked on Ricki Lake and Jenny Jones, and here I am in the middle of writing a script, one which I spoke of a few weeks ago (THE INADEQUATES was the working title at the time; I don’t know what it is now), about a meek 16-year-old girl whose parents get her a new computer for her birthday, and it all goes downhill from there… and now I’m all, FECK! I’m just following a trend now! KRAP! You can see the position I’m in. I mean, I think that my take on the thing might be unique enough to still be interesting, and my character doesn’t have much in common with most of the girls mentioned in the article, but it’s no longer a subject that’s all mine to plunder.

If you steal any of my ideas, I will beat you.

It’s not the heat, it’s the stupidity

Today’s highest temperature in Chicago, not including the heat index, was 101?F. In such hot, humid weather, my hair tends to curl up. Observe this photograph, taken today:

though drawn on, the moustache is fairly accurate

That’s right. I am turning into Mr. Kotter.

Hatten är din [hatt-baby] revisited

Remember this?

I was poking around through a few search engines, trying to find some way to get that music on CD, because it was very addictive, and I turned up a translation of the lyrics. Reprinted from http://www.geocities.com/pommesrotweissx/:

Lalalalalalala…
Ååååååh-åhåhåhåh
Lalalalalalala…
Oooooh-ohohohoh
Vinna kinky roligt, vinna kinky roligt Winning kinky and fun, winning kinky and fun
Hatten är din, hatten är din
Hatt-baby, hatt-baby
The hat is yours, the hat is yours
Hat-baby, hat-baby
Den hatten lever så roligt,
Den hatten lever så roligt
The hat is living it up,
Hatten är din, hatten är din
Hatt-baby, hatt-baby
The hat is yours, the hat is yours
Hat-baby, hat-baby
Det här är förjävligt
Det tycker vi blir bögigt
Det alltid var roligt
This is hopeless
We find this is becoming gay
It was always fun
Hatten är din, hatten är din
Hatt-baby, hatt-baby
The hat is yours, the hat is yours
Hat-baby, hat-baby
Hatten är din, hatten är din
Hatten är din, hatt-baby
The hat is yours, the hat is yours
The hat is yours, hat-baby
Lalalalalalala
Ååååååh-åhåhåhåh
Lalalalalalala
Oooooh-ohohohoh
Cool kille med läsk i hand
Ja det tycker vi – nånting sött.
Cool guy holding a soda
Yes, that’s what we like – something sweet
Cool kille med läsk i hand
Ja det tycker vi – nånting sött.
Cool guy holding a soda
Yes, that’s what we like – something sweet
Välte hatten i Berts cola-au-lait
Välte hatten i Berts cola-au-lait
Threw the hat in Bert’s coke-au-lait
Threw the hat in Bert’s coke-au-lait
Men sen visste nog du att baby
Men sen visste nog du att baby
Men sen visste nog du hatt-baby
Men sen visste nog du att baby
But baby, of course you knew that
But baby, of course you knew that
But hat-baby, of course you knew
But baby, of course you knew that
Hatten är din, hatten är din
Hatten är din, hatt-baby
The hat is yours, the hat is yours
The hat is yours, hat-baby
Lalalalalalala
Ååååååh-åhåhåhåh
Lalalalalalala
Oooooh-ohohohoh
Låna LP:n “Hatten är din”
Man kan klä ut sig och hångla i TV
Borrow the LP “The hat is yours”
You can dress up and make out on TV
Låna LP:n “Hatten är din”
Man kan knarka och hamna i TV
Borrow the LP “The hat is yours”
You can do drugs and end up on TV
Hatten är visst det din, din!
Hatten är visst det din, din!
Yes, the hat is yours, yours!
Yes, the hat is yours, yours!
Alla vet varför och allt blir perfekt
Alla vet varför och allt blir perfekt
Alla vet varför och allt blir perfekt
Alla vet varför och allt blir perfekt
Everyone knows why and everything will get perfect
Everyone knows why and everything will get perfect
Everyone knows why and everything will get perfect
Everyone knows why and everything will get perfect
Hatten är din, hatten är din
Hatten är din, hatt-baby
The hat is yours, the hat is yours
The hat is yours, hat-baby
Lalalalalalala
Ååååååh-åhåhåhåh
Lalalalalalala
Oooooh-ohohohoh
Limma skinkbit, cooligt
Limma skinkbit, cooligt, cooligt
Glue piece of ham, cool.
Glue piece of ham, cool, cool.
Hatten är din, hatten är din
Hatt-baby, hatt-baby
The hat is yours, the hat is yours
Hat-baby, hat-baby
Hatten lever så roligt,
Ja, hatten lever så roligt
The hat is living it up,
Yes, the hat is living it up
Hatten är din, hatten är din
Hatt-baby, hatt-baby
The hat is yours, the hat is yours
Hat-baby, hat-baby
Det här är förjävligt
Det tycker vi blir bögigt
Det alltid var roligt
This is hopeless
We find this is becoming gay
It was always fun
Hatten är din, hatten är din
Hatt-baby, hatt-baby
The hat is yours, the hat is yours
Hat-baby, hat-baby
Hatten är din, hatten är din
Hatten är din, hatt-baby
The hat is yours, the hat is yours
The hat is yours, hat-baby
Lalalalalalala
LALALALALALALA…
Lalalalalalala
LALALALALALALA…

The lyrics very strongly give me the impression that the whole thing was made just to be freaky. And I suppose there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s more romantic to think that other cultures can be so different from America that such a bizarre thing can have a deep intrinsic social/psychological explanation.

In a similar vein, I also turned up an interesting animation here. This one is from Japan, apparently. I read somewhere that while the Japanese have a tendency to employ non-sequiturs and absurd cultural references in their entertainment, they do not do so because they get more understanding out of them, but because they think the crazy little absurd things are funny. But I cannot decide for certain whether this animation is an authentic wacky Japanese production or a parody of same or some combination of the two. I honestly think it was made by an American, or possibly a Brit – if you watch it, you will understand why. Not that it matters much, because it’s very well done either way, and will drive you just as insane on repeat viewings.

I have been redesigning my web page all afternoon. I have been redesigning for so long that my shoulder hurts and that my fingers and wrists ache with carpal tunnel syndrome. This is an awful lot of hard work for something from which I will enjoy little to no reward. YES, I WOULD LIKE SOME CHEESE WITH MY WHINE.

To drop shadow or not to drop shadow

Hi. I’ve been working on a site redesign, and right now I’m really still playing with ideas. But I think I may have come up with a basic letterhead. The question is, should I use drop shadows, or should I let the colors remain flat? I’ll let the images speak for themselves…

With drop shadows:

with

Without:

without

Which?

Juvenilia

Long ago in south Peru
There was a man who liked to poo,
And so he’d eat and eat and poo
And drink and eat and pee and poo.
One day, this man he saw a log
And in its hollow was a frog
And so the man thought “My O Me!
A lovely log this frog would be!”
And so the man who liked to poo
Took home the frog and made some stew
And though he tried to cook it through
It still was very hard to chew
So he had milk to wash it down
And went to meet his girl in town.
She said, “You don’t look so good.”
And he said, “Do you think I should?”
And she said, “Well, I’d think you could.
If not for me, you never would.”
Then he felt pain between his hips
And then a smile across his lips
And said, “I’m glad that I’m your man.
Excuse me while I hit the can,”
And went there in a happy way
‘Cause it’s his favorite time of day
And so he sat and had a dump
And heard a noise that made him jump
And it was like a little swish.
He looked down and saw little fish!
Then thought, “Not fish, but poliwogs.
I’ve given birth to baby frogs!”
And so he ran to get his girl
And had her bring along her squirrel
And showed the tadpoles to them both.
They all agreed that they were loath
To flush them down the toilet bowl,
For even tadpoles have a soul,
So then he caught them with a net
And dried them off ’cause they were wet
And put them in a bassinet
And said, “You’re Chuck, and you are Chet.”
And so, the man he wed the girl
(The maid of honor was the squirrel)
And raised the tadpoles as his sons.
And now he only gets the runs.