Long ago in south Peru
There was a man who liked to poo,
And so he’d eat and eat and poo
And drink and eat and pee and poo.
One day, this man he saw a log
And in its hollow was a frog
And so the man thought “My O Me!
A lovely log this frog would be!”
And so the man who liked to poo
Took home the frog and made some stew
And though he tried to cook it through
It still was very hard to chew
So he had milk to wash it down
And went to meet his girl in town.
She said, “You don’t look so good.”
And he said, “Do you think I should?”
And she said, “Well, I’d think you could.
If not for me, you never would.”
Then he felt pain between his hips
And then a smile across his lips
And said, “I’m glad that I’m your man.
Excuse me while I hit the can,”
And went there in a happy way
‘Cause it’s his favorite time of day
And so he sat and had a dump
And heard a noise that made him jump
And it was like a little swish.
He looked down and saw little fish!
Then thought, “Not fish, but poliwogs.
I’ve given birth to baby frogs!”
And so he ran to get his girl
And had her bring along her squirrel
And showed the tadpoles to them both.
They all agreed that they were loath
To flush them down the toilet bowl,
For even tadpoles have a soul,
So then he caught them with a net
And dried them off ’cause they were wet
And put them in a bassinet
And said, “You’re Chuck, and you are Chet.”
And so, the man he wed the girl
(The maid of honor was the squirrel)
And raised the tadpoles as his sons.
And now he only gets the runs.