All right, so ESPN has a new TV-movie that they’re advertising starring Tom Berenger. The advertisement features critics’ quotes, and among them is “…his steeliest glares since Platoon…” —Dallas Morning News

Come on, that’s very funny.

This afternoon on the train, I witnessed a fully decked-out banger type eating baby carrots out of a plastic baggie.

It was adorable.

Eleven eleven on eleven eleven! Again!

Eleven eleven on eleven eleven! Eleven eleven on eleven eleven!

I am sexy.

You don’t own me. I’m not one of your many toys.

So doooooooooon’t tell me what to do,
And doooooooooon’t tell me what to say,
And pleeeeeeease when I go out with you,
Doooooooon’t put me on display,
etc.

Where? Here.
When? Now.
What? No idea.

God bless the internet and its wonderful invisible people.

I’m tired and cranky and bitter. I am the lone soberino in a world of drunkies. Whither whiskey?

Get on up!

Daily Hey Magic Number (yes, I’m counting this one): 34

The liberal amounts of eye lubricant I applied have rendered me unable to see the keyboard.

The cat bit my typing finger.