So, continuing this week’s tribute to the Miracle keyboard, which I have resumed playing after years away and will continue to do so until I get bored of it, here is another Miracle-enabled song.

And when I say “this week” I really mean “over my next several posts, whenever they are”, in the same way that “The Daily Hey” means “The Whenever I Feel Like It And Probably Not Even Then Hey”.

I wrote and recorded this one on my four-track one night in the dorm during my junior year of college. Check out the drum solo in the middle (also Miracle-enabled).

I’m So Vain [MP3, 2.9 MB]

The title, of course, refers to a famous Carly Simon song. At the time, I don’t think I’d ever heard the song; I just knew of its existence, and I liked the title, and decided to appropriate it. I thought it would be fun to write a song where the narrator keeps getting distracted and interrupting himself.

Lyrics after the jump.

I’m so vain but what can be the problem
I am not so terrible to talk to
If I like me, that just makes healthy
That just makes me normal
Sound of mind and body

I think my face ought to be in movies
I don’t act but who could know the difference
But my eyes, my eyes are quite expressive
I could win an Oscar

I could win affections of a million fans
Hearing teenaged girls around the world
Screaming out my name
And amassing wealth and power beyond my wildest dreams
But that’s probably too ambitious just the same

Here I am, world, find a place to put me
Pick a place where everyone can see me
Say, I need to shave, where is my razor?
Bottom of the bathtub
How did that thing get there?

Bit of hair mousse, off to face the—now what?
Let me change my shirt, put on a clean one
This one’s wrinkled, I can’t go without one
Where’d I put the iron?

Dammit, there’s a pimple on my lower lip
I could squeeze it or just leave it, it’ll still hurt like a bitch
Though it’s stinging I’ll keep smiling so the hurt won’t show
And some cover-up will cover up the glitch

[Keyboard solo]

Maybe I’m too healthy
Maybe that’s the problem

[Drum solo]

I’m so vain, at least I am not boring
Often I require constant preening
It’s not my fault if another suffers
Why should they be bothered?

I’m just trying to be the best me I can be
If you knew me you’d agree with me, this is not a crime
And so world, if you could postpone my debut
For say, twenty minutes, I could use the extra time