Hello to you, my bonnie wee moppets. I have been on vacation all week. Not really. I have been throwing up. Not really. I threw up twice: once in the men’s room in the staff lounge at work, and again while I was cleaning up the aforementioned mess. There is nothing like violently vomiting twice in rapid succession to get the blood pumping and the sick time used up. I should not have drunk the Hawaiian Punch for breakfast that morning. That was a mistake. It is really a dinner drink.
To those of you who have been asking: yes, the Belly Twins are available for parties, weddings, bar mitzvahs, and the like. However, they are accompanied at all times by a very surly, very hairy bodyguard who is not afraid to use – nay, eager to use – his brass knuckles. So, think twice before getting grabby.