Creative Writing class journal from 17 November 1993:

My Lovely’s Chicken Bodice.

Arf! my dear. I adore your chicken bodice, it so flatters your eyes. The feathers are soft and white and heavenly. How do they adhere to you like that? Forgive me for so saying, but the way they wrinkle and come up and around and connect at the beak, with the eyes symmetrically placed, well… it seems to magnify your bosom. Oh, don’t blush, madam, I am only being complimentary. I am not always looking at your bosom, no, but an occasional glance now and then… well it is rather quite extraordinary seeing as how you have just the one. Oh, I’m not denying that, my dear… no, it would not be gentlemanly of me to suggest that you have only one nipple. What? You have two? Really. That’s even more extraordinary. Two nipples on the same breast! Hmm… is it one on either side? Vertically! They’re arranged vertically? I don’t believe that! Slip out of that chicken bodice, my lovely, and let me see for myself.

Daily Hey Magic Number: 37