Children,
I appear to have taken the weekend off. That’s the way it goes. No going back now. Will I take next weekend off? Only time will tell. Does anyone care? No. And rightly so.
I have opted not to take the “online diary” approach with this page, and yet I do not want to make it into a daily test run of my stand-up comedy routine. I have a feeling that the majority of my posts will be like this one: self-referential and without worthwhile content. Much like the majority of my life, now that I think about it. Excuse me while I rest my head against a nearby wall and weep solemnly.
[Ten minutes pass]
So, how ’bout my cat, eh? He’s a real tiger. Well, not a REAL tiger. He is your typical American shorthair, if such a thing is at all typical to you. Among actual tigers, my cat would seem decidedly atypical, as he is not actually a tiger, although this is based on the assumption that we are defining our set of possible typical things to one select group of animals which includes tigers and my cat, and not examining whether each individual animal is typical among its individual species. Tigers find each other typical, after all. It’s possible that, in such a group, my cat could also find a tiger to be a typical representative of the entire set of animals. It is also possible that he would be eaten. I am unlikely to put this theory into practice anytime soon, not only because of the possible damage to my cat and the expense of acquiring several tigers, but also because it is a stupid idea.
Anyway, I’m sure he’d be flattered to know I’m writing of him, but I do not plan to tell him, because he is a cat, and will not understand a word I’m saying, and will think I am going to feed him; and when I do not he will bite me. Possibly. It is unfair to make assumptions. It makes an ass out of you and me – or in this case, just me. You had nothing to do with it. As far as I know.