While I was driving home tonight, I wrote three columns in my head. That was stupid. What a waste of time! My head does not have an internet connection. Those are a few years off, anyway. So anyway, parked car, patch of ice, yadda yadda yadda, three columns on the pavement. Hmm.

I did my laundry and took out the trash today. For me, this is newsworthy. I am somewhat slovenly. Not that it’s any of your business. Have you ever noticed that if you put your laundry in the trash, it becomes trash, but if you put your trash in the laundry, it does not become laundry?

Valuable life lessons, here at the Lucubus.

I updated the “Bitch” section of my Shannen Doherty pseudo-fan site. It will probably be the last update. I do not care one whit about Shannen Doherty – no offense if you’re reading, darling – any more than I do any celebrity on whom I formerly had a crush due to her strong resemblance to an ex-girlfriend and/or tendency to be naked. I want to ditch the page. I want to erase it. I want to eliminate it. It is a thorn in my side, a black mark on an otherwise sparkling career, and it really turns the chicks away in droves. It gets my site hits, I suppose, but do I really want hits from various Europeans too strung out on legalized marijuana and federal health coverage to notice that Shannen Doherty (hi, sweetheart) is not affiliated with the site? I don’t think so. Unless I can wring some money out of them.