lucahack: how funny is it that I’m seriously ill and it’s my third-to-last day working at the library?
hmssucktoad: LMAO ROTFL funny.
lucahack: don’t patronize me

Daily Hey Magic Number: 29

IIIobservedIII: how’s classes?
lucahack: eh, all right
lucahack: I have foamcore in my headcore
IIIobservedIII: heheheeh
lucahack: I was up all Thursday night making a model
lucahack: whenever I’m up all night Thursday I always start to fall asleep during Friday’s shop class
IIIobservedIII: that sounds dangerous
lucahack: not really, but I missed out on a very interesting demonstration of the metal lathe
IIIobservedIII: metal lathe??
IIIobservedIII: what are you using a metal lathe for?
lucahack: lathing metal
IIIobservedIII: i knew you were gonna answer that

Daily Hey Magic Number: 30

Chelsea B.: the camel clutch?
Chelsea B.: what the fuck?
lucahack: that’s the name of the apartment
Chelsea B.: shut up
Chelsea B.: come on
lucahack: it’s true
Chelsea B.: i’m not putting that on the card
Chelsea B.: it sounds dirty
lucahack: you’re thinking of “camel toe”
Chelsea B.: i know, but that phrase ruins camel altogether
Chelsea B.: ‘camel’
Chelsea B.: is ruined for me.
Chelsea B.: because of camel toe
lucahack: there’s nothing wrong with camel toe
Chelsea B.: uh, yes there is!
lucahack: oh, don’t be ridiculous
lucahack: camel toe is harmless
Chelsea B.: it’s no good.
Chelsea B.: it’s no good.
lucahack: it’s tremendous fun
Chelsea B.: it’s a tremendous disaster
lucahack: have you had a bad experience with camel toe?
Chelsea B.: everybody has.
Chelsea B.: it IS a bad experience
Chelsea B.: whatever. i’m not writing that camel BIZNIZ on the card.
Chelsea B.: forget that.
lucahack: that’s your perogative
Chelsea B.: yes. i win.
lucahack: you win nothing
Chelsea B.: i win everything

Daily Hey Magic Number: 43

lucahack: party at my house tonight! w000t!
IIIobservedIII: what are you doing online, NERD???
lucahack: still an hour till it starts
IIIobservedIII: oooh okay then
lucahack: I don’t think many people from school are coming
lucahack: they partied too hard last night or something
IIIobservedIII: that sucks d00d
lucahack: I wanted them to look at all my stuff
lucahack: and grit their dirty jerk teeth with envy
lucahack: maybe I smell or something
lucahack: mmm… I do smell…
lucahack: like lavender vanilla.

Daily Hey Magic Number: 44

lucahack: new year’s party at my house!
IIIobservedIII: rock!!
lucahack: stop by and we’ll french
IIIobservedIII: haha
lucahack: all the girls laugh at me when I say that

Daily Hey Magic Number: 45

hmssucktoad: go to bed you creepy perv
lucahack: I have to write a week’s worth of Daily Heys
hmssucktoad: Don’t you have a monkey that writes those?
lucahack: no monkeys
lucahack: sometimes Vince contributes
hmssucktoad: Hmm, I have a new found … respect… for you.
hmssucktoad: And the simian Vincent.
lucahack: I’ve heard him make monkey noises. He’s very good.

Daily Hey Magic Number: 79

lucahack: I don’t know for sure that she made the sex with that fella
lucahack: but it seemed likely
StoneCo1dCrazy: made the sex?
StoneCo1dCrazy: so you can’t say for sure if she fucked his cock?
lucahack: I mean, I wasn’t there
lucahack: wasn’t invited upstairs to watch them have the fuck
StoneCo1dCrazy: stop making me laugh with your funny phrases!
StoneCo1dCrazy: it hurts!
lucahack: sorry
lucahack: I really cunted the cock on that one
StoneCo1dCrazy: you made me drool then!

Daily Hey Magic Number: 91

foldingsuplex: Are you ready for Some FOOTBALL?!?!
lucahack: no
foldingsuplex: you need to GET READY
lucahack: no
foldingsuplex: you should at least THINK ABOUT getting ready.
lucahack: for football?
foldingsuplex: yes.
lucahack: no
foldingsuplex: think about getting ready for some football. please.
lucahack: this is very important to you
foldingsuplex: it is important TO YOU
foldingsuplex: you just don’t know it yet.

Daily Hey Magic Number: 92

Chelsea B.: tomorrow is my birthday!
lucahack: tomorrow the 11th?
Chelsea B.: the tenth
Chelsea B.: well…technically
Chelsea B.: today is my birthday
lucahack: today is the tenth!
Chelsea B.: cause it’s after midnight
lucahack: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Chelsea B.: thanks!
Chelsea B.: i’m old
Chelsea B.: 271
Chelsea B.: NO.
lucahack: that’s so old
Chelsea B.: 27
lucahack: that’s not as old

lucahack: I feel like being melodramatic
IIIobservedIII: uh oh
lucahack: the world…
lucahack: the world is going to end…
lucahack: my world…
lucahack: fin

lucahack: I’ve been asleep since 7 PM!
foldingsuplex: not any more you’re not!
lucahack: true
lucahack: I was having this intense dream that I was taking this outdoor performance art class
foldingsuplex: fun
lucahack: and the instructor was an ex-porn star and she kept bringing it up
foldingsuplex: that sounds fantastic.
lucahack: and one of the girls in the class was also a porn star and they kept talking about how the old days were difficult
lucahack: and at the same time kept going on and on about the nature of “performance”
lucahack: and every person in the class had their own individual meditation platform up at the top of a very tall tree
lucahack: and I lay down on mine and was going to take a nap in the sun, but I was worried that in my sleep I would roll over and fall off it
lucahack: and then I woke up and there was an infomercial about acne medication hosted by Vanessa Williams on television
lucahack: and I realized that the people in the dream had also been talking about acne problems

Samorama76: happy gaypride day!
lucahack: yay
Samorama76: i didnt get any pussy today
lucahack: sorry
Samorama76: you’d think everyone would want to prove their gayness
lucahack: not me
lucahack: it’s the closet or nothing
Samorama76: well, its trendier for chicks

Daily Hey Magic Number: 1

IIIobservedIII: i wish i had a sailor moon costume :o)
lucahack: yeah?
lucahack: I wish I had an Optimus Prime costume
IIIobservedIII: doood
IIIobservedIII: we could so go to the prom together then!!!
lucahack: I’m gonna barf
lucahack: I am crying
IIIobservedIII: hahahah
lucahack: this has evoked a visceral reaction in me, apparently
IIIobservedIII: don’t cry
IIIobservedIII: we could be kings of the nerd prom!!
lucahack: and I could transform and give you a ride home
IIIobservedIII: AAAAAAAAAA
IIIobservedIII: now i’m crying
IIIobservedIII: hahahah
lucahack: how romantic
IIIobservedIII: i have to be home at midnight or i’ll turn into a pumpkin
lucahack: I guess that means I’m not going to score
IIIobservedIII: well, it was the nerd prom, after all
IIIobservedIII: what did you expect??
lucahack: nerd sex

Daily Hey Magic Number: 5

Chelsea B.: i hate great america right now
Chelsea B.: it fucking broke my neck
Chelsea B.: it was fun at the time, but i’m totally wobbly
lucahack: it’ll grow back
Chelsea B.: my spinal chord?
Chelsea B.: chord? cord?
Chelsea B.: god, i can’t even spell
Chelsea B.: they break your neck
Chelsea B.: and the first thing to go is your spelling
lucahack: your neck will grow back
Chelsea B.: it’s not gone, it’s just broken
Chelsea B.: damaged
lucahack: you just need a neckrub
lucahack: or a backrub
Chelsea B.: oh…..sound familiar?
lucahack: hmmmmm
Chelsea B.: hmmmmmm
lucahack: or an ASSRUB
Chelsea B.: yikes
lucahack: you look like you could use a BREASTRUB
Chelsea B.: you are dirty
Chelsea B.: hehehh
lucahack: I’m totally over the top

Daily Hey Magic Number: 14

lucahack: Gene Hackman has always held a special place in our family ever since he was in “Hoosiers”.
hmssucktoad: Awww. And Dennis Hopper too then?
lucahack: oh very much so
lucahack: he was the lovable drunk uncle to us
hmssucktoad: Awww. Oscar winning role if i remember.
hmssucktoad: Much talk of a sequel.
lucahack: recent talk?
hmssucktoad: Yeah I think they want to play against japan or something.

Daily Hey Magic Number: 30